After more than 17 years at the American Coalition for Clean Coal Electricity, President Stephen L. Miller is stepping down.

So where will the organization find the ideal candidate to continue its mission of trying to polish coal’s image? Why, Craigslist of course!

It appears someone beat them to the punch. I had to chuckle when I saw this fake ad from someone at the Sierra Club posted yesterday:

Job Title: President, American Coalition for Clean Coal Electricity
Job Description:

Are you a motivated go-getter who hates to let facts stand in the way of profits? Are you good at making something out of nothing? Do you sleep soundly at night, no matter what you’ve done? Do you reject the global anti-capitalist “science” conspiracy? Are you comfortable around unicorns, centaurs, and other so-called “mythical” creatures? Do you have experience in the tobacco industry?

If you answered yes to those questions, we want to hear from you. The American Coalition for Clean Coal Electricity is seeking a new President of our trade association to continue our work promoting a product that doesn’t actually exist: clean coal electricity. The ideal candidate would be able to alter the long-standing ironclad laws of chemistry to create clean coal (through magic or otherwise), but we’ll settle for someone that can say it exists with a straight face.

Key Responsibilities:

Pretending Clean Coal exists during meetings with the media, government officials, and citizens

Denying climate change over and over again
.
Really, really hating clean air and really, really loving making a few of your friends a lot of money

Wining and dining politicians

Spending lots of money lobbying politicians

Accurately filling out expense sheets and legal documents outlining our activities, expenditures and…ha, just kidding – we don’t have to do that. Thanks, Supreme Court!

Preferred Candidate Would Have the Following Attributes:

Willful or Natural Ignorance of Reality

Experience in various East European propaganda ministries, the Tobacco Industry, or sales of miracle cures and/or snake oil

Basically, we need you to be friends with a lot of politicians

Doesn’t hurt if you are rich

Ability to sleep soundly after helping poison air and water nationwide and undermining our Democracy

Benefits:

Compensation: A lot. Look, let’s just say you’ll be in that 1% those hippies are always talking about and Mitt Romney will not be uncomfortable around you.

Bonuses allocated as electricity rates go up.

Full health, dental, and vision.

Access to future beach front property in Nebraska

Special discounted inhaler program for ACCCE employees and their families

Compensation: See Above

Principals only. Recruiters, please don’t contact this job poster.

Please, no phone calls about this job!

Please do not contact job poster about other services, products or commercial interests.

PostingID: 2877809426